Your son has nothing to be ashamed of, and I could see myself in the same position as his age. I've been in tech for about 8 years now, and finding a fit for our autistic selves can be so incredibly daunting.

People think we're smart and have it all and throw a good thing away, but they have absolutely no idea how overwhelming the things others take for granted are - change, light, newness, a 'team meeting', impostor syndrome, 'culture fit', surprises - the low points of our 'spiky skill set' that we hide so well often times. To this very day, I have loved ones who still don't get it and say stuff like, 'oh, but you can just work from anywhere! Hop on a plane to Europe! Do it on the train!' ... um, no. Set shifting and executive function make that sort of 'perk' damn near impossible for me. But personal digression aside..

..I'm so sorry you've dealt with so much fallout from unempathetic people over this. But I also know, as someone who did find his niche as a software engineer over time, that your son will be okay.