The real cruelty of “Don’t Say Gay”

Enabling feelings of isolation is inexcusable.

I wanted to understand Florida’s Parental Rights in Education bill before jumping right into the outrage. Unfortunately, it couldn’t be more clear. In its own words, the bill “prohibits classroom discussion about sexual orientation or gender identity in certain grade levels.”

What struck a particular nerve in me is that even if you pathologize, disapprove of, disagree with, or outright reject the reality of being LGBTQ+, intentionally keeping an LGBTQ+ child unaware that they are not alone — even if not alone in something you consider to be wrong— is intentionally isolating that child.

And isolation, especially for a vulnerable person — let alone a vulnerable child — is a cold and inexcusable cruelty.

For the sake of argument (and a wildly flawed one, since I as a queer person and writer absolutely do not pathologize or demonize the reality of being LGBTQ+), consider how we as a society treat other things that are often regarded as struggles or stigmatized vices. A remotely empathetic person might still judge an alcoholic, but the first thing that comes to mind is probably Al-Anon — not denying that alcoholics exist.

If a fellow human struggles, I’m sure most of us can agree that a natural first step is to assure them that they are not alone — even if not alone in “sin” or “temptation” or a “character flaw.” We are nothing if not social and hopeful beings, after all.

And yet, by limiting or eliminating discussions of human experiences that might differ from the norm— especially for children who probably won’t hear about them under the roofs of the voters who made it happen — by doing this, we are hampering these children’s abilities to relate and relay their feelings to others.

And we are making damn sure that these kids feel broken and alone.