I could have written exactly this (among other things you mention!) about my experience on testosterone.

I suppose it's a different direction and emotional landscape, but it's the right one for each of us, respectively. On estrogen/progesterone, the best way I can describe the baseline was a gray sludge. I was so day-to-day. On testosterone, just...a happy, calm ability to be still. A contentness that I had no idea would happen, and that asotounded me.

What I find kinda funny and maybe a little ironic is that I can tear up now on T and really feel deeply about things, whereas on a female balance I suspect I would have physiologically been able to full-on cry more often, but, since my brain isn't wired for E/P, I actually never could. Not ever tear up.

I think it truly is about having the right fuel for our mental archictectures.