In my view, this idea is incredibly outdated and flawed. At its core, being trans is not about gender roles, after all!

A medically trans person with a cautious, conflict-avoidant personality like mine could not "live as my preferred gender" (a better term would be ‘actual gender’) without at least starting to feel physically congruent first. The experience could be difficult, inauthentic, humiliating, and indeed even dangerous.

In fact, the very prospect was terrifying to think about. I needed to start HRT privately to feel whole and confident. Then I could be myself publicly.

And indeed that is what I did, with no regrets.