How to make your restaurant awesomely friendly to autistic adults
From a layperson’s perspective, anyway.
I can only speak as a diner, so if I sound ridiculous from the real trenches of the industry, my apologies (and please let me know! I’d love to learn what is actually feasible).
But anyway, in the spirit of April, here’s what you can do to make the restaurant experience even better for me as an autistic person:
1. Take reservations.
I understand the spontaneous vibe of just walking into a friendly space, but my neural architecture can’t really handle spontaneity.
One of my partner’s and my favorite hometown spots doesn’t take reservations, so we elect to go ridiculously early (dinner at 16:00, anyone?) or ridiculously late to ensure a table. I still admittedly feel anxious the entire walk over, so having an extra sense of security would mean the world (and have little risk of not being perfectly and punctually honored, because, well, autism).
2. Don’t play (loud) ambient music.
I guess the mood (or some important acoustic thing for crowded spaces?) might improve with a little background music. However, anything that requires patrons to talk louder as a result can be incredibly overstimulating and uncomfortable for us.
Thankfully, a lot of places are really kind about turning it down when I muster the courage to ask (especially when we’ve come at an odd hour to avoid crowds and are nearly the only ones there anyway).
3. Be outspoken and obvious about menu changes
If you’re out of something (or something in general is now different from what the paper in front of me says), please tell me right when I sit down.
I’ll still graciously make do and order an alternative to The Usual™, but having that extra prep time for my embarrassingly rigid brain is super helpful.
4. Please, just take reservations.
I really can’t stress that one enough, if and when it’s possible.
5. Consider seating people with kids vs. no kids in different areas
Auditory sensitivity is real, and kids are sadly and statistically more likely to be an issue there.
But yeah. If it’s possible to…sorta…consciously seat families with kids (or dogs, when that’s allowed) on one side of the room, and then seat people (especially pairs) without kids on another side, that would be HUGE.
6. Try out a card system
One of my favorite breweries does a neat thing where you get a green card to display when you need service. A server only comes to your table when they see the card, and I love this because it minimizes surprises or having to rapidly prepare myself to speak (which, for autistic people, is a thing and often a stressful one).
7. Please don’t make ‘community tables’ the only option
Cool concept. But if that’s your thing, I’ll have dinner elsewhere.
8. A final item without explanatory subtext to re-emphasize the whole ‘please take reservations’ thing. Like, seriously — if you pick one thing, let it be that.
