Here’s what the coming out letter of a late bloomer looks like

Norm Julian
8 min readMar 20, 2021

If you need to get around the paywall, you can read this story here.

The usual — I’m just one guy. I cannot speak for anyone else, except in overlaps and averages. But as one guy who came out at 28, I think it’s important to emphasize that being transgender happens in all kinds of ways.

So, here is what I wrote to my parents many months before starting my medical transition — and what I finally sent to them, one month into the testosterone therapy I hadn’t told them about yet — when I finally felt so astoundingly whole and right that I just didn’t care anymore about worst-case familial scenarios.

Forgive the obvious name redactions (and my references to weirdly-named, made-up characters from childhood), and here we go:

I came to an understanding about myself this year that may surprise you. It may even be a shock, but given my life choices (and/or elective surgical history) to this point, maybe not so much. I am transgender.

First off, don’t worry — I’ve been working through this in therapy for a long time. Partner knows about it. My friends know about it. My workplace has a few other transgender folks on staff already, and it is extremely welcoming to the trans community. In fact, everyone has been understanding and accepting (hooray!). More on that later.

‘Now, wait!’, you may say. ‘None of this makes any sense! Transgender guys were little tomboys who played sports and hated…



Norm Julian

Programmer by trade, Texpat, lover of multicolored things and sunflower seed butter