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How to fix emotional labor
I was raised with extensive household management training, both conscious and subtle.
Though I ate up the brilliance of You should’ve asked, it didn’t seem to solve the problem of non-family-logistics-conditioned people (statistically, more often men — but let’s call them ‘non-trained people’ for inclusivity, because humans are defensive) feeling flustered by what this tidal wave of awareness even meant.
Frankly, a lot of very-family-logistics-conditioned-people (let’s call them ‘trained people,’ more often women, which I used to look like, if you hadn’t guessed and/or didn’t wanna hear a man blabber about all this; anyhow…)
…Anyhow, frankly, a lot of trained people have not helped at all by vilifying the untrained ones.
You can’t know that they shouldn’t HAVE to ask if centuries of generations of your kind neither had to ask nor had to fathom asking. How does that quote go again? (despite it being aimed the other way in a sense) If you can’t see it, you can’t be it.
Everyone hunts now, and this really gave the gatherers the short end of the stick. That’s demonstrably true, even for the non-invisible parts. But maladaptive patterns like this aren’t some malicious, conscious choice by the original hunters. We just kinda slid into this unbalanced shit. Vent, and vent hard, but don’t vilify.
