19 things for a great top surgery recovery
Just over a week ago, I got my chest back via top surgery. I’m doing incredibly well and may or may not still tear up when I undress to shower.
Gender euphoria aside, I like to think I did a pretty okay job of preparing for the practicalities of the procedure. So, without further ado, here is a list of must-haves and nice-to-haves that I hope will be helpful to others:
1. A reading pillow
You’ll want to sleep sitting up for a while, and this heavy fellow full o’ memory foam filled the bill for me. It’s wonderfully supportive, and I will probably take back the offer of giving it to my partner (who actually reads in bed, and/or in general) when I’m done with it.
2. A mastectomy pillow
Allegedly this is good for riding home in the car, and for hugging in general, but I was too drugged out to recall for sure. I do, however, distinctly remember taking great comfort in letting it just sit on top of me in bed for no particular reason. So it’s probably worth looking into.
3. A neck pillow
I did a grand total of two things for the first couple of days post-op: take walks and take naps. For the latter, since I was stuck sitting up, a good neck pillow was a lifesaver.
4. Just owning too many pillows in general
Let’s face it — not being able to lay down sucks. It’s like breathing through your mouth when you have a sinus infection — just not. the. same.
So if you have to play that game with your body and mind, it helps to have options. Options to erect, by trial and error, the weirdest, most adaptable, and most ideal pillow fortress possible for this short-term but somewhat excruciating War on Your Goddamn Sleep.
5. Reddit
As it turns out, plenty of guys, maybe some gals, and tons of nonbinary pals have gone down the top surgery path before. And they talk about it! Online! So that you can relate! And learn! And ask questions! Huzzah!
I highly recommend browsing and/or participating in the r/ftm and r/asktransgender communities, among others. A lot of my own posts and comments talk about the top surgery experience as well.
6. Clean sheets
If you can, wash your bedding the night before surgery. You’ll probably be laying around for a while, and you may not be allowed to shower a good part of that time. It helps to have at least one fresh thing going for you.
7. A clean house in general beforehand
If you’re anything like me, something dusty, grimy, or out-of-place has to be addressed right NOW — or the world will surely end. But tasks like sweeping, vacuuming, and moving things to their proper places are no-gos when you shouldn’t be exerting your arms or yourself in general for a while.
Give yourself a head start to resist those compulsions if you need to.
8. Making sure the laundry is freshly done beforehand
You know what is also a bad idea right after getting your torso reconstructed? Bending over to load and unload the washer and dryer.
9. Moving clothes, dishes, and other essentials to lower shelves beforehand
Reaching up for things for the next couple of weeks= unwise.
10. Food deliveries
If you cook, now is your chance to take a break and finally try those sushi burritos.
And if you cook on a budget, now is your chance to prep a bunch of stuff beforehand.
11. A new routine
I’m autistic, so forcing a change to my crucial, able-body-dependent daily routine is…extremely difficult, to say the least. But I had to, if I wanted to heal.
I couldn’t compromise on my daily walks, so I made sure to wake up laughably early on the day of my procedure, put on a headlamp for safety, crank up the podcasts and Ghostbusters Remixes, and dissipate my energy on the city sidewalks as needed.
In the days after, I allowed myself slow, steady strolls with plenty of breaks, including a daily coffee shop circuit with the comforting consistency of the same latte for here, please at the same little table around the same time each morning. Adapt and overcome.
12. Button downs
Pulling a shirt over your head = putting your arms up = bad news bears.
13. Charcoal wipes (or probably any kind of cleansing wipes)
I’ve probably said it three times already, but not being able to shower sucks. Having something to wipe yourself with (or have a hot, de-facto home care nurse ~hotly~ wipe you with) is a decent stopgap.
14. A Bluetooth headset
Who wants to untangle wires while drugged out and frustrated about not being able to reach around for things? Not us!
15. Zipper hoodies
Button downs are great, but sometimes you don’t want the fraternity or business casual look. Fortunately, there is more than one way to close a garment in the front.
16. Gauze pads
When you have reached the nirvana that is Finally Getting Your Bandages Off (And Did I Mention Being Able to SHOWER), you will probably need to start re-dressing some wounds on your own.
A pile of sterile gauze pads is great to have around to put over nipples, drain holes, and the like before re-wrapping or re-compressing yourself in the coming weeks.
17. Tape to hold those gauze pads
Well, I suppose this one’s a given. Unless you enjoy acrobatics or can manage to keep them in place with ointment.
18. Polysporin
Speaking of ointment, this kind in particular was recommended by my medical providers to generously spread over nipples and drain holes prior to re-wrapping.
19. People who love you
It goes without saying that it’s wonderful to feel cared for — whether by a partner, sibling, parent, good friend, or anyone who offers (or anyone you can muster the courage to ask, if you need to. I know how hard that can feel, believe me.)
You need to heal, and I pray (pray? Wait, do I pray? I guess to the Lord Empress sometimes)/hope/[some astral and fitting word here, because I wish I could do better] …
…that you have somebody by your side through this special milestone.
If you don’t…well, be careful, you badass. Take it easy, alright?
And enjoy this new life of yours!
